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Wal-Mart Doctor

Printed From: Band Nut Local Bands
Category: General
Forum Name: Adult Humor
Forum Description: Post your Dirty Jokes Here
URL: http://www.bandnut.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=40644
Printed Date: Sep 19 2020 at 7:37am


Topic: Wal-Mart Doctor
Posted By: cat1
Subject: Wal-Mart Doctor
Date Posted: Aug 26 2010 at 8:06am
 

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." 

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money." Mike replies. 

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.  Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. 

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. 


He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.  He pours the sample into the slot and waits.  

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:  

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."  

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.  

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.  

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.  He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. 


The computer prints the following: 

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.             (Aisle  7) 
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 
4. Your wife is pregnant...twins.  They aren't yours.  Get a lawyer. 
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!  


Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.



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I'm happier than a slinky on an escalator!



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